[Find out what the variables mean here.] I don't know why I feel this way. You need therapy I think. Maybe try shifting the thought of your ex to thoughts of your relationship. Start a new hobby. Im 21 years old. I dated because I needed someone to replace her. It's an adrenaline rush; … Even after 20 years, I STILL can't get over the only girl I've loved. Now, if it's been a very long time—like years—and you're still not over your ex, then probably something else is troubling you. He still has two years left at school. If not, I would suggest having a long discussion and talking it through with them. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. After all, he made the decision to end things.You had no say in the matter. You Feel Like You'll Never Find Somebody Else. Still not over ex after 2 years? i don't know what to think. I tried seeing other people, but I can't be intimate with someone else because of my feelings for my ex. i want to get over this. 2. They moved on a long time ago, and I'm quite happy to just leave them alone, but I also don't know what to do about my own situation, other than become a hermit and live in a swamp. later: 1. 2. … If you can’t talk on the phone or be in the same room with your ex-spouse without feeling your stomach clutch, then you’re still attached. But unless you've committed some of the typical post-breakup mistakes, getting back with an ex is not dependent on you—but rather on your ex and the months and years of time. Sometimes two people just aren’t a match, it’s as simple as that. We don't really talk anymore beyond polite chit chat. Healing after a breakup isn't easy—if it were, millions of songs, paintings and poems wouldn’t even exist.But while the pain of cutting ties with a loved one is universal, fortunately, it’s not eternal. Something else is probably going on here and talking it out with a professional might help. I keep thinking of things I could have done differently, and how he just doesn't know what he's missing now. Here are 7 reasons your ex might pop up months (or even years!) A common sentiment of people who left a relationship against their will is that they will "never find someone" like their partner. I don't know what to do, i don't even know if im actually still in love with them or if im just consumed by regret and guilt. Thanks for the comment btw. and undeserving. You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after the fact. For some people it’s normal to have lingering feelings for an ex after two or more years. You end up thinking, yeah that person was great but I wasn't feeling great with them. I have conducted a survey from my past clients and asked them how long it took their exes to reach out. But just from time to time. I went out with this girl for two and a half years. Meet up with friends or family. Then there is Broadly writer Maria Yagoda’s self-prescribed equation to calculate the time it takes to get over an ex: x/2 + j + l - 2 + k/2 + r = y. 2. It’s unusual to be hung up on an ex to this degree years down the line. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. If seeing him on social is preventing that remove him and move on. again, all i can think now is, "wow. Please stop stalking him online it doesn’t help, it just prolongs you getting over him. Unfortunately, while I think i was well intentioned, that turned out to be a lie, and i was not emotionally prepared for it at all. That’s a really tough situation. Someone to help me not remember her. He kept reaching out until she deleted him off her Facebook. seeing pictures of him/her on social media still hurts. For getting over someone after a divorce, that timeline inched closed to a year and a half, per a 2009 study, but that's not that long, relatively speaking (at least, IMO). Since he returned we’ve been spending a lot of time together, I’ve been asking him about fixing things and going back into a relationship . a lot. wondering if meeting someone else i like would change things. Long story short I went out with my first girlfriend for 2 years we had some good times but she also lied and cheated, although I dont really care about that anymore. but she has clearly sunk her teeth into him and peed in a circle around him to mark her territory. I've been struggling with getting over my ex for 2 years now.. And I STILL miss her.. i think i probably should, otherwise this sad emotional state will just continue, no? HER. 1 She's care for him 2 She's humbly 3 She's support him 4 She's Kind Lovely 5 She's show Respect 6 She's know how to cook 7 She's Independent Mature 8 She's work hard, know how to make moneys. It’s just not for some people , and mono relationships aren’t for some people either. But if he starts sniffing around, wanting you back, now’s your chance to get that control of the situation. I don't know, but if you have all those, I guarantee every man you date, they'll try to keep you tight than lose you. Question: My ex-girlfriend says it’s over and there is no chance for us but she is still calling me and says things like it’s a shame it turned out like this and I saw you today and you looked sad. Getting over a breakup is never easy. It has invariably ended with me thinking "The bad times with them were still way better than the times without them." Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. Im 21 years old. Not in any sexual way. And because I loved my former spouse so deeply, the pain is still unbearable when it strikes. After you've invested time in a person, formed a meaningful bond, and gotten used to having them as a central part of your life, it's hard to cut ties entirely. he's an amazing catch. i haven't really dated anyone since. i dated a guy for almost a year, and i swear i fell in love with him. And will things ever get better? According to Borrello, if you are still harboring feelings of anger or guilt towards your ex and how the relationship went down, then it means that you have not … but then it turned into a really bad break up. I understand you want what’s better for him but that’s not for you to decide now. They’re Looking For An Ego Boost. So refocusing on what went bad, what caused them to drift away from you, how you felt in those moments. she is so lucky." but now its 2 years later, and i still dream about him, i still think he was "the one" even though we're both with someone else now. You will not be able to date someone else while you still feel this way. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. The reason for that is because dumpers need a lot of alone time to live their life the way they had envisioned. After 2 years i'm still not over my ex, is it worth trying? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, A subreddit to discuss and vent about the dating process and learn from the experiences of others, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. but hey, nothing i can do about it. They Want A Shoulder To Cry On he's hers now. I even had new girlfriends in between but when that breaks up I don't even care that much I still miss my ex girlfriend of 2 years ago.. She already had a new boyfriend like 2 weeks after … It was a really great 10 months, but problems arose when they expressed their desire for a polyamorous relationship with me and another person, and I said that I wouldn't have a problem with it. he can do so much better. and it sucks. Unfortunately poly relationships always start with one person wanting it so the other will mostly feel jealousy. During my 1 year relationship with the rebound, I still thought about my ex. Published: 20:05 EST, 31 July 2015 | Updated: 20:27 EST, 31 July 2015 If the relationship is truly over and neither of you is doing anything to make the other hold out hope for reconciliation, it is likely that these feelings will fade with time. [new] So for a little bit of background, I (22 Non Binary) have known my ex (23 Gender Fluid) since we were pre teens, and we had feelings for eachother throughout our teens. i have some ideas of the "mistakes" i made with him. After a breakup, when two people are one hundred percent sure that it is over, the first thing that comes to their mind is getting rid of all the things that accumulated during the time they spent together. and it feels like shit, honestly. Finally, see a therapist. Start dating other people, ASAP. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It's not healthy to pine after this guy, especially when, it sounds like, it was nothing serious and it's been 2 years since y'all stopped dating. You’re not an ass for being jealous, it’s extremely tough to make poly relationships work. he now has a new girlfriend (dating for a year, seems to be going very well) and has moved to a different town. As for my feelings, it feels like love (I feel euphoric when we talk, i get butterflies when they hug me goodbye, I'm sad when they tell me they're having a bad day), but the cynic in me keeps telling me it's just remorse for mistakes I made, or that it's some kind of childish crush. Rejection hurts, even if it had nothing to do with you it can still sting and make you feel like you’re somehow not good enough. If you're wondering "will I ever hear from my ex again," I may have some good news for you. We didn't even date that long, and it ended 2 years ago. Finally, see a therapist. In a sense, this is true. It's no surprise, then, that the urge to text your ex can be almost unbearable. They've had a steady boyfriend for the past few months, and im pretty sure a girlfriend as well. I don’t know your feelings but IMO I think you’re still in love with them. The wind gets knocked out of you. doesn't even have to be with me, but i can't stand seeing him with HER specifically because i think he is really compromising and making stupid decisions. I know this comes across as ranting and it probably is, but I am genuinely in pain and it's affecting my daily life. I don't know how appropriate bringing up the subject would be, as much as it might help my mental and emotional state, I'm afraid i might cross a line that causes them to cut off all communication. I have tried to move on but I'm just mad/sorely disappointed that it didn't work out because I really liked him and thought there was potential for something amazing. Meet up with friends or family. Start a new hobby. You can be in love with a person but that doesn't mean a relationship will work. there's no point thinking that, but i can't help it; it's what naturally crosses my mind. A year after his breakup, one young man explained to me that he would imagine his ex being proud of him when he accomplished a difficult task. You need to find happiness in other forms of your life before you can find happiness with another guy. Then, go outside. I think about them every waking moment, and im running out of ideas to cope with it. Then she tells me everything great that’s happening in her life hinting that she’s somewhat dating but not really. A lot of the time, the pain we feel after a breakup is really the throb of a severely bruised ego. Still not over ex of 2 years- it's ruining me- please help Personal issues So almost two years ago my boyfriend of five years broke up with me in order to "work on himself" (that lasted for about a month before he started pursuing a friend in common). That was almost two years ago, and we never saw each other, spoke, or texted again. Getting back with an ex after years is possible. It will fade. When a guy dumps you, you lose your power in the relationship. (I … Go for a walk. You may only need a short duration of therapy to sort this out too since it’s one specific issue. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. Just under 2 years ago just after we started at separate universities she broke up with me very suddenly over long distance and we never spoke/saw each other again. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. (Which means you won't be crying into that carton of cookie dough ice cream forever.) If you keep in contact, you might be obsessing over him and your relationship, which also takes power away from you. That could be, I've been thinking about seeing a professional for some time now, and I've also considered that my attachment could be in some way related to my PTSD. what hurts is not just that i'm not with him, but that i have to see him with someone else. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Yeah, my cheating university ex used to reach out to chat and ask how my life was going every now and then for ~5 years after … It has been dragging on for about 8 weeks which is since the time we broke up. You will not be able to date someone else while you still feel this way. So for a little bit of background, I (22 Non Binary) have known my ex (23 Gender Fluid) since we were pre teens, and we had feelings for eachother throughout our teens. Then, go outside. I didn't want it to fizzle out and end. I was a selfish, jealous ass throughout that season in the relationship, and it resulted in them breaking up with the other person, and eventually to us drifting apart. she must be so happy. I mean, its seriously every waking moment. Missing an ex, he says, doesn't necessarily mean you're not ready to start dating again after a breakup. I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. This girl and I dated for a year even though I am still not over the girl of my dreams even though we broke up 2 years ago. Closure is something you can give yourself. Any advice, Reddit? I also spoke to dumpers, looked and browsed through various forums and conversed with dumpees from all over the world to provide the most accurate information I possibly can. she's getting a much better deal than he is. More posts from the relationships community. A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. She was my high-school sweat heat and the one I consider as "the one that got away" Long story short she moved away and things didn't work out. Thank you for the advice, but unfortunately I've already more or less tried this. Long story short I went out with my first girlfriend for 2 years we had some good times but she also lied and cheated, although I dont really care about that anymore. We dated for a couple years, broke it off and then a year later got back together. And "They weren't making me feel like crap, i made them feel like crap and in turn made myself feel like crap.". Unfortunately, the knowledge that you’re there still pining away for them (whether your are or not) can be just the springboard that they need to feel good about themselves. It's not healthy to pine after this guy, especially when, it sounds like, it was nothing serious and it's been 2 years since y'all stopped dating. Hi, my ex and I broke up for over a year and couple months.He left me for someone else then returned about 7weeks after we broke up. i never really got closure or clarity on my time with him, and i know i won't get it now. Start with either removing yourself from social media or blocking him on all forms. she is LUCKY. Go for a walk. When someone takes up so much of your life, it’s impossible to get over them in a day or two. Aside from social media stalking, many ex-couples continue to actually communicate—trying to stay friends. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I want to be free of this, over it. But exactly how long does it take to get over someone? And if this is not the case with your ex-boyfriend / ex-girlfriend , there are two … For two years I've not been able to get them out of my head. But I just can't seem to shake the thought that I let a really good one, a really special person, get away. Its been over 2 years since and I still miss her greatly. I (22 Non Binary) am still not over my Ex (23 Gender Fluid) after 2 years of being apart, and I don't know what to do. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. and i just know she's just tickled with joy at her situation. "You’d never turn down your dream job … she doesn't seem that great and i wonder why it worked out with her. In general, though, if it’s been years since the end of a six-month relationship and you still feel attached to your ex, you might want to seek professional help. You might even fall harder for someone else. she probably did things differently. Has your ex moved on as in they found a new person/persons? It's been over two years since the initial split from my marriage, and while I am truly happy most days now and have learned to allow grief to pass through me when it needs to, those landmines still go off. TL;DR: I'm not over my ex, who I broke up with 2 years ago. By Bel Mooney for the Daily Mail. Stalking him online it doesn ’ t know your feelings but IMO i think probably! Just not for you to decide now else is probably going on and. 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